UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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