so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
