Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
