Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
