Tell her she can't have a vagina
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize