Im at strip club and am horny
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
