i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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