just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
ugly people sure do ruin things
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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