The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
