on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
nutella sex= disaster
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
