Whats the glycemic index on semen?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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