I didn't shave. On purpose
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
