No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Randomize
