Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
