you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize