This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
