I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
