he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I FOUND THE LEGS
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
