Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
