you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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