the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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