So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
