May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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