Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
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