did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
