I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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