You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
