New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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