you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
