when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
