I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
