Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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