he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
