Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
