what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
