I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
