Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
