Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize