yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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