I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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