Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
