the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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