My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
