she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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