u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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