I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
are you so shy because you have an std?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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