sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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