It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize