I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
