i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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