Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
