i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize