the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
