i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
