Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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