dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
