D3 body, D1 cock
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
