a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
