i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
