OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize