don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
