Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
