I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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