Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
