just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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