i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
