just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
foreskin is a definite game changer
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
