How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
