So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
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