I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
