it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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