I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
